


Dreaming

by Cyan (vehicroids)



Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Dreams, F/M, Tales of Zestiria Spoilers, soft angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 12:24:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18010847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vehicroids/pseuds/Cyan
Summary: Rose was no stranger to loss. Losing him had hit her harder than she expected.





	Dreaming

The first night it happened, Rose didn’t know how to feel.

Dreaming about dead loved ones was nothing new. Growing up as a mercenary - and growing into an assassin - meant a lot of losses, including parental figures. Rose had dreamt of everyone she had lost, yet dreaming of Dezel was the dream that surprised her.

It was like seeing a ghost. He was watching her, his arms folded over his chest. He was waiting for her to do something, but she didn't know what she wanted to do. She wanted to strange him. She wanted to jump on him like she used to. She wanted to yell at him. She wanted to talk to him. Rose did none of those things, instead staring at him in silence.

Rose took a step forward, and she woke up with a start. She pulled the thin sheet off her body and sat up, rubbing her face. She would never tell anyone about that dream. She felt like she shouldn't have been dreaming about him in the first place. She should have been angry and hurt, and she was, but that wasn't all. She missed him. All she could do was give him a rushed goodbye, which wasn't enough.

Rose was glad she at least had that much.

It was another month before she dreamed of him again. This time, she was watching him try to bake something, carefully eyeing up the ingredients he was using. Then it hit her - madeleines. His tasted exactly like hers. She approached him slowly, trying to act casual.

“So,” she said, “did you take my madeleine recipe?”

Dezel scoffed. “Whose recipe was it really?”

“It was mine! Obviously! … wasn’t it?”

Dezel didn't answer.

It made Rose think about her life. She didn't know how many accomplishments were her own, and how many were thanks to Dezel. Just how much stronger had he made her? It felt like cheating, even if she didn't know at the time. Rose would have to be stronger; not only for herself and her pride, but for those around her.

Rose didn't know how much Dezel had seen of her life, nor did she know how long he was there for. She had always been afraid of ghosts - perhaps it was the seraphim that caused this fear. The thought alone made her laugh. Any child would have been terrified of Dezel scowling at them.

It hurt to know everyone else knew before her. Rose was never a fan of secrets among family, especially when the Sparrowfeathers shared everything. Sorey and the others weren't the Sparrowfeathers, but they were still family to her. Maybe if they had told Rose about Dezel's plan sooner, she could have stopped him. Dezel might have still been alive.

The thought was ejected from her mind as soon as it arrived.

Rose never classed herself as the overthinking type. She tried not to think about it much, but it was hard not to think about how much different wind armatization was without Dezel. It was hard not to think about Dezel when faced with anything to do with Zaveid. In his efforts to fill a hole, he ended up becoming an irritating reminder.

While in the daytime her thoughts would be more focused, at night, there was nothing keeping her mind distracted. She filled her head with comforting what ifs that eventually helped her fall asleep. Her favourite was trying to make the Sparrowfeathers meet Dezel, but they couldn't see him. They looked at her like she had lost her mind. Dezel pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You knew it would end like this,” he said.

“Well yeah, but it feels wrong to not even  _ try _ to introduce you, you know?”

“Was it worth the embarrassment?”

Rose laughed. “With the look on your face? Always.”

The sinking realisation was that she would never be able to introduce Dezel to her family. They would never know one of the most important men in her life, for better or for worse. The thought alone broke her heart, but she had to keep moving on. Dezel wouldn't want her moping over someone like him, so she didn’t.

It didn’t stop her dreaming about him.

A part of Rose wondered if that was Dezel’s ghost reaching out to her. After that thought, she didn’t sleep for three nights - she would rather never, ever think about his ghost coming back to haunt her. Halfway through the third night, her body gave up, and she drifted off to sleep, something she was both glad about and not.

In her dream, she was sitting with Dezel by a campfire, though she didn’t know where the others were. The flames crackled away, dancing in a faint breeze. She leaned against him. Rose knew it was a dream, but it felt so real, and he felt so warm. She closed her eyes, relaxed with him.

“You’re not real, and that’s okay,” she said with a gentle sigh. “I know you’re just here because I miss you. And I know you’d hate me saying that, but you know what? I don’t care. I miss you. I owe you an ass whooping.”

Dezel huffed. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Please, seraph or no, I’d have you on the floor in five seconds flat.”

Any excuse to touch Dezel. She realised now that was why she was so physical with the wind seraph - she wanted him close. Her only regret was not realising it sooner. Rose put her hand on his, but he didn’t react.

“Maybe I’ll see you in another life,” she said.

Dezel was comfortable to lean against, and Rose wished she could have stayed here with him forever. Come the morning, Dezel was gone, and she didn’t expect anything less.

**Author's Note:**

> You know what? I'm still too terrified to write Dezel. A solution? Give him 3 whole lines and pretend that's more than enough lmao. But at least I'm writing the OTP, so you know :'D I do have a longer fic planned for them but pls help I'm so scared of writing Dezel
> 
> Follow my [Tumblr](http://vehicroids.tumblr.com) || [Twitter](https://twitter.com/vehicroids)


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